unplay identity

Identity design, Unplay, 2014.

Based on the structures of trauma and power, Unplay the Shame and Blame Game provides a simple, easy-to-follow, four-point model for shifting from passive aggressive to healthy communications, resolving any conflict, internal or external, private or public, in domestic or foreign relations.

Watch how Unplay works:

Does your immediate personal response to hearing any perspective that disagrees with your own run along the spectrum of violence anywhere from, “Nuh-uh, that’s not true,” to shouting, swearing, threatening, or all the way to gunfire, insisting that the other person listen to your point of view?

spectrum of violence diagram

Compressed spectrum of violence could be expanded with far more nuance, but acknowledges communication as what happens between two, replacing our either/or models.

That’s denial, a big red button warning you to stop, and try the opposite:


No matter how many times you insist on your point of view, does it ever change the opinion of the other person?

How far are you willing to go to force your will over any other?

Why? What are you hoping to accomplish?

Next examine the structure of power in your relationship.

Are you the President; the four-star general; the CEO; the boss; the Mayor; the head of household; a white, male, able-bodied, heterosexual property owner? Then however much you may feel personally out of control, you are structurally in the position of greater power in relation to your citizens; your troops; your company; your employees; the community who elected you to office; your wife and the other members of your household; in our white, Western, capital-worshipping world, impoverished and/or homo- or transsexual and/or physically challenged and/or female and/or people of color. Notice your position in relation to the other:

Unplay one-on-one

Unplay: passive aggressive communications between more and less powerful parties.

Abusive leadership only reveals its weaknesses anyway, acting out in rage thinly covering fear of the other, less powerful. Healthy leadership listens to the least of these, thereby balancing power:

unplay one-to-one

Unplay: healthy communications between two healthy human beings.

Passive aggressive communication both hides and reveals trauma, as children pattern themselves after the communication style of unhealthy role models, themselves likely either unheard or openly abused as children. Unlike other communication models, Unplay works to resolve any conflict because it follows the structure of trauma:


Structure of trauma beginning from traumatic event.

Market research, testing the effectiveness of Unplay within the globally notoriously abusive Bundy clan, leading to many more opportunities to clinically observe the passive aggressive volvelle and practice Unplay within Idaho’s broken mental juridical health system, with Venn diagrams. My identity design process. Unplay analyzing communication failures within social services leading to violations of Washington law. Unplay applied to the business world. Deeper research in critical theories of identity, trauma, and the taboo available via interlibrary loan of my graduate research, Wild Child:

wildchild beeswax

Detail of beeswax seal and letterpress printed gatefold enclosing ‘Honey’ essay from Wild Child, 2008, 26.5×28.5×6.5 cm. Title refers to le jeune fille sauvage, the creature that philosopher Giorgio Agamben describes at the border of difference between man [sic] and animal. Pigment ink jet and letterpress on Magnani Pescia, paste paper covers on museum boards, linen thread, exposed hemp cords, variable edition 6 signed and numbered, included in the collection at the University of Idaho Library, Moscow, unbound State of Idaho 2014 theft acquisition.

Up next:

  • develop multimedia curricula for familial, business, psychotherapeutic, and criminal justice markets
  • address flaws in current market models
  • attract clients healthy enough to recognize that value of Unplay

If Unplay helps you resolve conflicts in your life, thank you for clicking on my last buck in the upper right column to contribute your support.


9 thoughts on “Unplay

  1. Pingback: 911 | journal6other

  2. Anonymous

    I’m both completely elated and utterly deflated that I can identify activity around me and within myself from both the passive-aggressive volvelle and the healthy communication diagram. This is partly because now that I know what I’m looking at, it seems to be all I see around me, from the public transportation system to the top tier of government (if that makes sense).

    Also, I know that I have been mistaking much of what I thought I was experiencing as fear as anger as well, toward not only the present moment of powerlessness/injustice toward others (those suffering abuse at political rallies) or myself (as I fear for my safety as a woman on the street), but also the deep knowing that the future is likely to not improve, but only get worse as society continues to compound and amplify abuse due to a lack of healthy communicating and fear in the collective consciousness.

    Most (though, to be fair, not all) therapeutic relationships I have experienced consisted of the therapist unintentionally working through their own trauma during our session and then projecting that onto me, which proved a serious drain of resources and provided little to no healthy coping mechanisms at hand for daily living coming from the sessions.

    Recognizing that probably none of what I said fits into any published, peer-reviewed psychological writings, it is the very best way to express what has happened in my experience.

    I also ask, respectfully, that you keep me anonymous if you publish this.

    1. journal6other Post author

      On the one hand, of course people drawn to the field of psychology will have experienced trauma in their lifetimes and are trying to repair their own wounds, but on the other hand, clients should be able to reasonably expect some base nominal self-awareness, emotional maturity, and knowledge of human psychology from their therapists.

      For you to recognize fear but not your anger is typical of women, who are socially “permitted” fear but taught to deny or repress our anger, whereas boys are all too often taught to repress their feelings of sadness (of separation from the other) or fear (of finding commonality with the feminine), thus express those deeper emotions with the mask of anger. Hence our cultural stereotypes of sad woman/angry man. On the one hand, that you are able to report the deeper emotion means you are more emotionally intelligent than people of all genders too repressed to reflect on their emotions, on the other hand, what do you do with your anger?

      Unplay has already proven an immensely powerful tool for me, so of course I want to help others learn what took me decades of learning and practice. It is my hope Unplay will help others, regardless whether they are psychologists or their clients or outside the field altogether.

  3. Pingback: Resetting Your Moral Compass | journal6other

  4. Pingback: Redrawing Solutions for Moscow’s Masculine Rage Problem | journal6other

  5. Pingback: Educational History of Moscow’s Masculine Rage | journal6other

  6. Pingback: Design, Technology, Insert Psychology, and Law | journal6other

  7. Pingback: One person denied access to law school because of the absolute inability to pay for the LSAT | journal6other

  8. Pingback: Mitigating Circumstances | journal6other

add marginalia

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.