200 5th Ave
New York, NY 10010
Dear Messrs. Peretti, Smith, Lerer and team:
Congratulations, of the nearly infinite quantity of potential job openings and employers around the globe, you have been selected to be the first to participate in my transparent job seeking efforts. Your jobs board attracted my attention from the Twitter feed of your reporter Katie Baker, drawn to my attention by the recent journalistic faux pas at RollingStone. Even though I normally cringe at the use of the term, your available position of “Cre8tive” sounds intriguing. But what really hooked me was the laugh out loudness of your affirmative action plan where your commitment to equal opportunity hiring dovetails with my recent experiences.
Lots of room for ambiguity (and growth?) in your job description for someone with my education, skills, and post-Great Recession professional development that includes art directing via Twitter the shot that granted shoe manufacturer Mizuno brand placement in the editorial, not just the lowly ad section of the national press over a full year later:
From my experiences observing global branding and communications agencies in action, I hope you will not put too much weight on that requirement when evaluating my qualifications, and instead consider injecting a fresh jolt of DNA into the branding pool. With your affirmation, to your team I bring the post-Great Recession bootstrap-tugging story to end all bootstrap-tugging stories. And Buzzfeed could get to be the hero that put an end to my American Nightmare. May we reduce the fluorescent lighting in your work environment by perhaps half? Maybe add some more art to the walls, from the ceiling, or on the floor?
Thank you for the 1) opportunity to harness my skills toward the goals of a team environment, or, bare minimum, the courtesy of 2) honest, individualized feedback to help me continue learning and growing.